After seeing a barrage of “calling him out of his name” remarks on Twitter yesterday, I soon found out that a Q & A had been published on Playboy.com that made him look all kinds of foolish, ignorant and possibly even high on some strange exotic drug.

If you want to read it you can go here, but for the high level version he: 1.) compared his “maleness”…um down there to the Klan, 2.) claimed he had a “hood pass” 3.) dropped the N-word as if the I-don’t-know-where-he-got-the-pass gave him entitlement to say what he wants no matter how insulting or demeaning and 4.) spoke pretty graphically about his sex life but since it is a gentleman’s magazine I’ll let that slide.

Anyway.

24 hours later, I find out via Twitter again that he issued an onstage apology, claiming that in his attempt to be “clever” he insulted the people that he loved and loved him back, and therefore would no longer be doing any interviews.

Now even though I think the reporter may set him up for the fall, I think JM is genuinely sorry for his comments, but more for the sake of it’s not what you say as it is how you say it. Of course he’s going to apologize because he has a diverse fan base and he doesn’t want to lose that; because what’s he going to do if he can’t play guitar? Public speaking? HA!

While John has the right to his own thoughts and opinions, I’m really not all that shocked by his comments. I’m of the mindset that at some point in time, people will show and/or tell you what they’re really about and when they do so we should believe them. He had to save face, for the sake of his career, nothing more nothing less.

Here’s the video apology. for what it’s worth.

TS

Courtesy of jimiizrael.com

After giving him a Google, it turns out that the dude has been on the scene for a while. He is a regular contributor to The Root, moderates NPR based round table The Barbershop and considers himself a “Black Hip Hop Culture Expert” according to his self listed profile on Blackexpert.com.

Now I’m all for an intelligent and well spoken black man, but I think it’s safe to say Jeff Johnson will neva eva have to worry about this bird taking his job on the TJMS. After hearing his wanna be “conscious commentary” he reminded me of the one who gets beyond blazed at a party, then launches into a soliloquy of “knowledge dropping”, all the while not making a bit of sense. The more he talked, I swear I could hear the Peanuts teacher ( whaa whaa..whaaa whaaa) and yet I couldn’t seem to tear myself away from the radio.

This is what is funny. It seems as though dear Jimi is about to release his first book entitled The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can’t Find Good Black Men, due out February, 16, which sounds like a good title but we need not get it twisted.

After reading a few of his blog commentaries as well as an excerpt from his book, I started to see a pattern; and feel relatively comfortable to say old Jimi is pretty well known for making ridiculous generalizations about black woman and why we, as the title says, can’t find decent black men.

He writes:

“Black women’s unrealistic standards are probably borne of bedtime stories about handsome, rich men on majestic horses rescuing damsels in distress. Girlfriends often tell similar apocryphal tales about the friend of a friend who nabbed a rich, hung sugar daddy who saved them from a life of dishpan hands and lower-middle-class drudgery. Through the influence of popular media and the misguided advice they give each other, sisters combine these images and presumptions to draw a composite of a perfect black man. No way he could exist, but far be it for something like common sense to stop the average woman from looking. Her friends meet men who are so close—so close, girl! With just one fatal flaw, like he snores or doesn’t get DIRECTV.”

WTH?

The real deal is that we have a “brotha” who to me is severely delusional and trying to sell a book by riding off the hopes that some poor damsel in distress, as he put it, will want to hang on to his every word simply because he’s a man. Quite frankly, I am appalled by his overconfidence and find his so-called platform to be blatantly misogynistic.

There are a multitude of reasons why a significant number of black women are disproportionately single in comparison to our white counterparts but the implication that we are over-sexed gold-diggers is definitely not one of them. Even though I’m sure it will be a most entertaining read, I can’t be bothered by Jimi or his musings, and even more so find it hard to believe why we as black women would even consider his opinions relevant.

In the immortal words of many a great black grandmother, Jimi needs to get somewhere and SADDOWN. I make no excuses for my “high expectations”, and I’m certain my fellow sisters feel exactly the same.

TS

One could argue in my defense that I’ve had one of the worse cases of writers block known to man. I would sit at my computer excited about a blog topic and the words would just not come together. The ritual, (for lack of a better term), would go something like this. I’d sit at my laptop and attempt to write the intro of an article that turned into the closing.  I’d rewrite that because it didn’t make sense, and in the meantime I’d come up with the lost intro, all the while never coming up with the meat of the blog. This madness would go one for what seemed like hours before a kink in my neck, cramped fingers and frustration forced me to a halt.

Even though I knew that one of the best cures for writers block was just to continue to write, I couldn’t even make myself do that. It seemed as though I had developed an aversion to blogging so intense I experienced mini convulsions at the thought of even logging in to my dashboard. I knew it was an issue only time could cure, so I decided to take an unapologetic, indefinite break from writing and reappear when I was ready.  I think I’m ready and this time I’ll take things slow(er), since Rome wasn’t built in a day.

This may sound like a corny acceptance speech, but I’d really like to thank the SPAMMERS for leaving the most ridiculous comments for my approval and for reminding me my site really exits in the first place! Here’s one of my favorites:

Better Standard,whose future candidate test pass married matter change be double say character sport adult domestic press active come around wife show join yourself liberal our enjoy twice museum hope museum parliament afford dream selection deny absence distribution fine assess few nose appeal approach domestic conference carry along influence fill other welcome officer author jump security sometimes image subject largely various tree it define direction book cell key enough press proper most shape function interested ride light justice ourselves structure down recently all business reference attack deep throughout

Who wouldn’t want to come back after quality comments like this! Stay tuned!

TS

One of the most memorable scenes ever!

TS

Listening to the poignant recollections of Def Jam’s humble beginnings to the conglomerate it’s become today made me more aware of not only the label’s rich history of artists, but the sustainability of the Hip Hop as a whole. What some thought would be a passing phase has truly become a culture, a movement, and I am proud to have been raised up with it.

Here’s a bird’s eye view of my favorite performance of the night!

Story of the Sparrow’s life. Ugh!

If you have a “wider calf” as in 14” or above, shopping for cute knee length boots can be a search filled with angst and agitation. While the invention of the stretch boot was pretty close to that of sliced bread, the styles have remained the same from season to season, offereing very little variety for fashion savvy shoppers like……well like me!!! I mean, how many pointy toe, round toe, low, medium, high heeled boots can a girl own? I won’t answer that; but to keep from possibly going down that road again, I set out on a quest to overcome the knee boot obstacle once and for all, and landed on some fabulous finds!

Here’s a bird’s eye view of some serious fly finds!

Grey, Platform Slouch Boots by Pour La Victoire

More Pour La Victoire…

Brown Suede with Gold Embellishments by FitZwell

More Fitzwell…

Black Patent Leather with Buckles by Promiscuous

For more styles, check out Zappos, 6pm, or Nordstrom and search via the ‘wide calf’ option. It’s about time designers start catering to the big legged girl!

TS

Though the track is definitely Michael Jackson(esque) with his signature vocal style and a mid tempo beat, it sounds like something I’ve heard before, especially with his brother’s background vocals giving it that old familiar Jackson 5 doowop sound. It’s almost reminiscent of “Never Can Say Goodbye” or maybe it’s “I Just can’t stop Loving You”…?

Anyway, whichever song, truth be told, I can’t help but wonder if the song would even sound as it does if he were still alive and I’m willng to make a small, friendly wager that it would not. Let’s call it the “Tupac Syndrome” for lack of a better term. I think y’all know what I’m talking about, but don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself and tell me what you think.

TS

Ok product junkies, Naturallycurly.com is having a sale! Go on over for your chance to earn a 15% discount on your favorite products! Use coupon code CURLALL at checkout, or you can opt for free shipping on orders over $60 by using the code FREESHIP60.  Only one coupon per order can be used. Sale ends at midnight so act fast!!!! 

 TS

Miss Patty never let’s me down and I know I’ve been waaaaaaay slack in keeping up with the reports. Life happens. Enjoy!

TS

Four years ago, I decided to stop relaxing after mass frustration from planning relaxers around holidays and special events, not being able to work out for days after a fresh do, and pain in the you know what routine maintenance had just broken a sista DOWN! A relaxer on my hair had become an exercise in futility. My hair had built up a tolerance to the creamy crack that was so intense, 20 minutes AFTER smoothing it still came out looking like a Jheri curl. That was just too much! It became clear to me that my hair did not want to be straight, so I set out on a journey to get back to my roots (pun intended) and haven’t looked back since!

As it stands right now, going natural has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life! I love the versatility of it and that my hair is healthier than it’s been ever before. I don’t have to worry about it getting wet in the rain, or how it looks after the gym, and even though I complain about frizz from time to time, I know it’s the nature of the beast, so I’ve come to accept that too. I just love my natural hair!

I also know there are a lot of ladies who are thinking about going natural but don’t have a clue about how to begin. While having natural hair may not be for everybody, if you really want to give it a try, it helps to have a little information so your effort won’t be in vain. I am asked about my journey all the time, and to be honest it’s too much info that a five minute converstaion with a stranger would allow so I decided to put together a high level “how to” on getting started. I hope it helps!

1. Do your research!

There are TONS of online resources for ladies contemplating the transition to natural hair. Do your homework! Websites such as Happy Curls, Naturally Curly, Nappturality, and Long haircare Forum are excellent resources and provide a wealth of knowledge from veteran naturals.

2. Decide how you want to transition!

Patience grasshopper! I chose the big chop method because 1.) I don’t have any patience, 2.) I don’t mind short hair, and 3.) I knew that was the best option for me; but there are TONS of methods that can make it a little easier on you while you grow out your natural hair. Some favorites of other naturals have included braids, sew in weaves, straw sets, roller sets, rod sets, wigs, twist outs, braid outs, you name it they run the gambit!

NOTE: You will eventually have to cut all the relaxed hair off so decide if you’ll do it gradually or all at once, but for those with “short hair issues”, I don’t know what to tell you, because eventually that hair will come off whether by breakage or by scissors.

3. Get your mind right!

There’s no right or wrong way to be natural. The decision to transition is a journey, a process, and it continues even after you’re completely natural. If you haven’t resolved to accept and love the hair God gave you, then your journey will be one of angst and agitation. Understand that no two textures are alike, and what techniques and products that may work for some, may not work for others. I really can’t stress this enough. It is what it is.

So there you have it. I know it was pretty basic, but I warned you it would be high level. In the coming days, weeks and months I’ll be going a little more in depth and by the time I’m done with you, you won’t have a choice but to be convinced NATURAL HAIR ROCKS!!!!

TS